1 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:24,733 - What a bunch of clowns. 2 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,025 Dangerous clowns. 3 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:28,069 Pokolistan is a friend of the US. 4 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,571 Countries don't have friends 5 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,489 After your decades in the military, General Flag, 6 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,742 I think you'd understand that true friendship 7 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,660 is built on petroleum deposits. 8 00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,329 Especially unmined ones in a backward-ass country 9 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:40,957 that's never taken advantage of their natural resources. 10 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,042 Princess Ilana Rostovic, 11 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:45,044 the heir apparent to Pokolistan, 12 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:48,214 is already negotiating with the US for that oil. 13 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,382 And if she's overthrown 14 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,050 by some nutjob in a witch's hat, 15 00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:52,844 all bets are off. 16 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,345 We need to help Rostovic. 17 00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:02,187 I thought Congress put a stop to all Task Force X activities 18 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,605 since your daughter outed you. 19 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,231 Technically, Congress said 20 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,233 A.R.G.U.S. can't use incarcerated human beings 21 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,569 as mission operatives any longer. 22 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,905 But what about beings that aren't human? 23 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,032 Huh? 24 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,039 What in the holy hell? 25 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,874 This is the Belle Reve 26 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,251 Non-Human Internment Division. 27 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,503 For over 50 years, 28 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,338 only those at the uppermost levels 29 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,549 of security clearance are aware of its existence. 30 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,092 By using these prisoners, 31 00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,261 I think we can arguably circumvent 32 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,679 our new restrictions. 33 00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:38,056 Arguably? How? 34 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,683 Congress said we can't use human prisoners. 35 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,769 These assholes aren't human. 36 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,770 She's not human? 37 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,063 Is a corpse human? 38 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,942 - Who is she? - We don't know. 39 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:49,943 Who's Jason and the Argonauts? 40 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,944 A sociopath 41 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,613 who calls himself Dr. Phosphorus. 42 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,406 He has irradiated skin he can use 43 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:57,116 to burn through people and objects. 44 00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,118 Well, how does that radiation affect the people around him? 45 00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:01,120 If you don't sleep in the same room with him, 46 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,455 the effects should be minimal. 47 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,832 - Minimal? - Consider it a free vasectomy. 48 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,048 What is that thing? 49 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,424 The Weasel. 50 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:14,717 It's one of the few soldiers still alive 51 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:17,553 from Project Starfish in Corto Maltese. 52 00:02:17,553 --> 00:02:19,639 So we know it has what it takes to survive. 53 00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:23,309 Sorry. 54 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,686 I didn't mean to intimate anything 55 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,145 about your son, Flag. 56 00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:29,148 When he died in Corto Maltese, he died a hero. 57 00:02:29,148 --> 00:02:31,693 That one looks like a discontinued dishwasher. 58 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:34,153 That dishwasher killed over 300 Nazis 59 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,446 in World War II. 60 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:36,864 I would have dismantled it, 61 00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:38,825 but I thought it might come in use someday. 62 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,953 It's known as G.I. Robot. 63 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,916 Last one is Nina Mazursky. 64 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,503 What use is she walking around in a fishbowl? 65 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,547 Get her in water it's a different story. 66 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,840 She's the smartest 67 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,883 and most reasonable of the bunch. 68 00:02:55,883 --> 00:02:58,428 She might be able to help you keep the rest of them in line. 69 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,486 This is your new task force, Flag. 70 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,822 Let's call it Task Force M. 71 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,782 M for monster. 72 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:20,992 Also known as... 73 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:56,444 to protect Princess Rostovic from Circe and her forces. 74 00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,539 I know you all aren't exactly enthusiastic 75 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:09,791 about this mission. 76 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,167 - But-- 77 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,794 General, I believe you've read us wrong. 78 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,796 We're delighted to be here 79 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,381 and delighted to serve our country. 80 00:04:17,381 --> 00:04:19,967 Okay. Uh, great. 81 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,929 - Are you smiling? - Yes. 82 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,805 - Sarcastically? - Mmm-hmm. 83 00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:29,435 G.I. Robot is detecting unease. 84 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,729 Could he be, G.I. Robot asks, 85 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:35,775 in fear of being discovered as Nazi scum? 86 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,736 No. Put your arm... Your gun down. 87 00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,029 He's not a Nazi. 88 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,989 Child killer, though. Not a great look. 89 00:04:41,989 --> 00:04:43,491 Supposedly, he had a bad experience 90 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,952 the last trip he took on this Osprey, that's all. 91 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,957 Are we in goddamn Pokolistan? 92 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,124 You've been here before? 93 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,544 f...ing hell. 94 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:29,495 Looks like the Princess has imported security. 95 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,961 Calm down. We'll be there soon. 96 00:06:23,924 --> 00:06:25,342 it's an honor. 97 00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:27,053 This is not the kind of bow 98 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,139 we do in Pokolistan, Mr. Richard Flag. 99 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,975 So, unfortunately, 100 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,894 - we have to kill you. - What? 101 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,479 - Alexi. - I am sorry. 102 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,273 We must only do sacred, customary bow in this castle. 103 00:06:40,941 --> 00:06:42,193 What? Hold on a minute. 104 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,653 No one briefed me on what kind of bow... 105 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,365 Alexi. 106 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,494 They're... How do you say it? 107 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,245 Messing on you? 108 00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:56,165 I am making joke! 109 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,583 For a minute, I think 110 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,959 you're going to make mess in your pants, huh? 111 00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:02,463 I was never gonna-- 112 00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:04,006 Very close to messing his plans. 113 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,966 I wasn't even in the vicinity of doing that. 114 00:07:05,966 --> 00:07:08,594 We are so much like Americans, yes? 115 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,764 Ooh, we pull pranks like Jamie Kennedy Experiment. 116 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,141 We do the Super Bowl shovel! 117 00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:18,103 We like to say "Wazzup?" 118 00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:19,396 Well, you're certainly current 119 00:07:19,396 --> 00:07:21,106 with your popular cultural references. 120 00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,775 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 121 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:23,901 Sarcastic smile. 122 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:27,112 Now, I have question for you, Skeleton. 123 00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,239 Where's the beef? 124 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,950 Clara Peller, one of the greats-- 125 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,201 Enough, Alexi. 126 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,411 We've prepared a banquet for you, 127 00:07:34,411 --> 00:07:36,455 our honored guests. 128 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,549 They've been living on prison grub 129 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,842 for quite some time. 130 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,134 Forgive their manners, Your Highness. 131 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,637 You've sampled this prison grub? 132 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,681 Just seeing it is enough 133 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,683 to give me the collywobbles, Your High-- 134 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,476 Ilana. 135 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,687 Their manners do not bother me. 136 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,189 I love seeing friends enjoying themselves. 137 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,360 That is the Queen. 138 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,861 Poor, sweet mother. 139 00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:10,864 She has not been self for some long time now. 140 00:08:10,864 --> 00:08:13,492 - Yes, Mother. Of course. 141 00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:15,869 She says she's pleased you're here. 142 00:08:15,869 --> 00:08:17,204 Oh. 143 00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:19,039 You see why I'm taking care of Pokolistan's affairs? 144 00:08:19,039 --> 00:08:22,084 Even though it won't quite be official until... 145 00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:24,128 You know. 146 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:27,548 You're welcome, Mother. 147 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,216 I love you, too. 148 00:08:30,634 --> 00:08:32,052 - G.I. Robot? - Yes, Miss Nina. 149 00:08:32,052 --> 00:08:34,221 Would you like anything? Diesel? 150 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,100 Some diesel fuel, please, for our robot friend. 151 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,019 Yes, madam. Right away, madam. 152 00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:50,154 Mmm. It is a beautiful evening, isn't it? 153 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:53,032 I do not enjoy landscapes devoid of dead Nazis, 154 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,575 - Miss Nina. - Oh. 155 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,661 Can Miss Nina and G.I. Robot be killing Nazis soon? 156 00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:00,164 Miss Waller promised it would be soon. 157 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:02,666 It's been oh so long since G.I. Robot 158 00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:05,711 has sent Nazis back to hell where they belong. 159 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,171 I think you will be, soon. 160 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,090 G.I. Robot would like to kill Nazis with you. 161 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,676 Would you like to kill Nazis with G.I. Robot? 162 00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:16,513 If I killed Nazis with anyone, it would certainly be you, 163 00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:17,556 G.I. Robot. 164 00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:19,183 Oh, my. 165 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,018 G.I. Robot has been waiting 166 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,270 for a friend to kill Nazis with 167 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:26,690 for 74 years, 23 days and 52 minutes. 168 00:09:29,526 --> 00:09:31,320 I hope we aren't too much of an intrusion. 169 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,781 Our only goal here is to keep you safe, Ilana. 170 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,657 I'm happy to have the company. 171 00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:36,909 Even that one? 172 00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:42,456 Why was he in prison? 173 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:44,625 Uh, supposedly murdered 174 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,752 - twenty-seven children. - Oh. 175 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,796 But, yes, I am happy for the company, 176 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,548 especially the company of Americans. 177 00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:54,551 My country is a charming one, but it is backwards, 178 00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:57,346 always rejecting progress as corrupt. 179 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,806 It is my most cherished dream 180 00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:01,475 to lead my people into the 21st century. 181 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,936 Well, I've been there. 182 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,729 I'm not sure I'd recommend it. 183 00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:08,232 Are you married, Richard Flag? 184 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,817 No. No. 185 00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:12,277 I was once, but my wife ended up being 186 00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:14,822 my least favorite aspect of that 21st century 187 00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:16,031 you're all gung ho about. 188 00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:18,659 I will avoid that part of the 21st century then. 189 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,161 Well, sometimes, 190 00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:22,996 missteps lead you where you need to be. 191 00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,749 She and I had a son when we were just 18. 192 00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:27,000 Fine young man. 193 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,211 I joined the military mostly just to make money 194 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:30,671 so I could support him. 195 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,923 Eighteen years later, he joined the military 196 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,299 because he loved our country 197 00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:36,009 and he wanted to make it a better place. 198 00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:39,596 Yeah. Boy was an improvement on me in every way. 199 00:10:40,013 --> 00:10:40,848 Was? 200 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,518 He passed on about two years back. 201 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,477 Oh. 202 00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:47,271 I'm sorry. 203 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,272 I would have liked to introduce 204 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,023 the two of you. 205 00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:52,067 I have a feeling you would have gotten on like a house on fire. 206 00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:55,279 A house on fire does not seem good. 207 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,572 No, it's... 208 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,282 It's supposed to be a good thing. 209 00:10:58,365 --> 00:11:00,075 I'd like to show you something. 210 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:15,465 - In June 1944... 211 00:11:15,465 --> 00:11:17,759 ...38 dead Nazis. 212 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:20,053 In September of 1944, 213 00:11:20,053 --> 00:11:22,556 I fought at the Battle of Huertgen Forest. 214 00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:25,392 A whopping 92 dead Nazis. 215 00:11:25,392 --> 00:11:28,979 In October of 1944, at the Battle of Aachen, 216 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:32,399 I ended the lives of 14 Nazis... 217 00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:43,076 - Bride. - How did you get down here? 218 00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:45,537 I walked down the stairs. 219 00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:47,831 No one tried to stop you? 220 00:11:47,831 --> 00:11:49,082 We're here to protect them. 221 00:11:49,082 --> 00:11:50,751 - Why would they stop me? 222 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:51,752 Hey, you can't leave. 223 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,086 Why not? 224 00:11:53,086 --> 00:11:54,713 Well, Flag will use the remote to shock you, 225 00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,340 and then we all get shocked. 226 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,883 Seems like a flaw in the system to me 227 00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,260 to get shocked even when I didn't do anything wrong. 228 00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,095 That was the worst feeling ever. 229 00:12:02,095 --> 00:12:03,513 Grow a pair, Fish. 230 00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:05,724 A pair of what? Wait, where are you going? 231 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:07,351 - Open the door. - Oh, my God. 232 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,436 I do not have you in the schedule. 233 00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:10,937 He doesn't have us in the schedule. 234 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:12,647 I don't need a schedule, Sir, Douche A Lot. 235 00:12:12,647 --> 00:12:15,609 I'm not your prisoner, so open the freaking door. 236 00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:20,781 Bride, please, come on, stay. 237 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,449 Oh, darn it! 238 00:12:22,449 --> 00:12:23,909 - Do you have any money? 239 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:24,993 - Pardon? - Money. 240 00:12:24,993 --> 00:12:26,328 Cough up some cash. 241 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,788 I don't have any freaking rubles on me. 242 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,081 How am I supposed to get around? 243 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,624 Our money is not called ruble. 244 00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:32,626 Yeah, I know. It was meant to be insulting. 245 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:33,794 Just give me some cash. 246 00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:37,464 Hey! 247 00:12:37,464 --> 00:12:39,132 Thank you. She means to say thank you. 248 00:12:39,132 --> 00:12:41,134 No, I don't mean anything of the sort! 249 00:12:42,886 --> 00:12:45,597 You asked him for money, and he just gave it to you. 250 00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:47,808 - That's right. - It was rude. 251 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:48,809 Yeah, that's right. 252 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,102 We shouldn't leave. 253 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,396 Look, no one is forcing you to come. 254 00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:56,983 ...Frankenstein. 255 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:00,237 Never mind what's on her head. 256 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,197 Just go to the address I told you 257 00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:30,142 Ah-ha. 258 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,789 - No, please, no! - Richard? 259 00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:56,293 Phosphorus, you idiot! 260 00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,587 You think Waller would give me the only remote? 261 00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,130 You'd be hopping around 262 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,048 like a Mexican jumping bean for days, if you escaped. 263 00:14:02,048 --> 00:14:04,801 Or, If I told her about this... 264 00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,428 I'm not here to torture you. 265 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,763 We're supposed to be on the same damn team. 266 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,696 What is this place? 267 00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:27,741 Where I was born. 268 00:14:50,221 --> 00:14:50,889 Yes. 269 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:11,409 My bride. 270 00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:14,079 After all these years, 271 00:15:15,622 --> 00:15:16,748 I've found you.